Cold Beer: A Party Game for the Manliest Men. Before chucking the cans as if you were primal apes flinging their feces at unsuspecting passerbys, ensure every one of your party members has thoroughly washed their hands with strong detergent, after refusing to allow the regular lilac, paisley scented pansy soap from touching your skin. This can descend into an adapted form of the popular children’s game hot potato.
If the Gorilla Grabber doesn’t suit your fancy, lift the beers from their icy bath and chuck them at one another from a respectable distance. In order to distribute the beer, contemplate purchasing the Gorilla Grabber*, a reach-extending grabber that looks like a gorilla’s paw. For instance, when it’s a cold day and you crank your heat up drastically to stay warm. Extreme fluctuations in temperature are the most common cause of small thermal stress cracks.
A good rule of thumb is to comport yourself as if you were ‘two bros chilling in a hot tub five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay’. A stress crack in an insulated glass window is a crack that starts small, near the edge of the window, and often continues to grow and spread across the glass. Once you and your mad lads have congregated in the center of your quaint suburban cul-de -ac, be certain to maintain several feet’s distance from one another. Before exiting your abode, suit up in your impenetrable, handmade hazmat suit, crafted of duct tape and other household staples after you’d convinced you wife you could ‘make that yourself for half the cost.’ Alternatively, strap yourself into a human-sized hamster ball – we recommend a sizeable one, to ensure you’ve amble beer-drinking room. Now’s for the difficult part – maintaining effective social distancing conduct between you and the boys.
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